As I sit here typing, I can feel the leakage from my bladder which is a new symptom in my battle with Endometriosis. Surgery was long, four hours!, and my recovery has been so much slower than I remember from my previous two. I am off the pain killers, I think in part to my high pain tolerance and the fact that there is addiction in my family. My belly is still pretty swollen, with lots of pressure, and the aches only make me cringe when I get up out of bed or off the couch. And now I just randomly pee when I stand up, move on the couch, or am silently reading in bed- great!
I am so thankful though for my amazing doctor. She has been so supportive, checking in on me after surgery in post-op, calling me the day after, calling me back very quickly after I placed the call to her office that I am freely peeing on myself throughout the day. This doctor cares, she is kind, and she deeply wants to find a plan that will work for me. But what kind of plan is there for me, with Stage 4 Endometriosis, when I have such poor reactions to any birth controls/hormone treatment?
So it is Day 6 post surgery, I have kicked caffeine, and have had no meat since two days prior to surgery, and have really limited my gluten and dairy. Keep in mind, I still do not have an appetite so it will be challenging once I do feel hunger again to keep up with this lifestyle change (do not call it a diet- I will fail!) A lifestyle change that will hopefully assist in limiting the amount of estrogen in my body. Us Endo girls, we have excess estrogen which then endometriosis feeds on and grows and grows. I always imagine there is an angry, knife carrying Pac-man inside my belly, viciously eating my estrogen, growing bigger and bigger, and who uses my ovaries as target practice for knife throwing a few times a month. I can never look at Pac-man the same.
I also need to work on limiting my stress – ha! – which is actually a big part of why I wanted to start this blog. I stress over everything and anything! Currently, I cannot stop thinking about my team at work and how I have let them down with having Endo and being out right now (more on this later!), cannot stop thinking that I should be doing more in recovery for my family (like scrubbing my cabinets in the kitchen or dry erasing my baseboards), and when can I start exercising again (I feel so lazy just laying around here!) Keep in mind, I was not a regular exerciser before this and I definitely did not get on my hands and knees scrubbing my baseboards often, but this is what stress and guilt can manifest.
So here we go! Thank you for reading! I hope you come back soon!