Today is one of those days. Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, anything and everything you say will be held against you. The pain is getting severe, first period post surgery, and I am aching all over. My inside hurts, low back, uterus, and my emotions are seriously all over the place. Usually during my PMSing time, I blast that Monica song “It’s just one of them days, that a girl goes through, When I’m angry inside, Don’t want to take it out on you.” Singing it loudly sometimes helps… sometimes.
I started taking those FLO gummies after some friends gave positive reviews, and I read so many positive reviews. But I have not seen a huge difference for me besides less bleeding the past two periods. And now I am seeing their ads on facebook promoting a review that stated “I lost 10 pounds since taking the Flo Gummy” which makes me lose trust in it. Why does everything have to target us women with losing weight?
Now I am blasting “You oughta Know” by Alanis. Can you tell where this mood is going? My 13 year-old step-daughter just tried to tell me that this isn’t angry girl music and wants me to play Billie Eilish. Seriously? Now I want to be furiously educate her on all the badass music I listened to in my youth that got me through the rough days. But I am too tired. I just told her today is not the day to argue with me about the OG angry girl music, with a smile on my face of course. Now Fiona Apple “Criminal” is playing to try to reel me back in.
When I think about the argument that has been made against women for centuries that we are too emotional to be in power, it actually makes me laugh. It is due to these monthly cycles of pain and emotions, that make us such strong creatures. We have to still live our lives, multi-tasking children, school, work, family, while keeping these emotions in check. Sure, we might be a bit bristly, but it does not mean we are going to flip the switch on nuclear weapons. It just means you need to get a tougher skin and accept that women do not need to be as kind, patient, or docile as you want us to be.
With Sheryl Crow singing with that beautiful, edgy voice “If it makes you happy….” I can feel the Ibuprofen starting to work and my edge start to dissipate a little. In 30 more minutes, I will be taking Tylenol and hope that will sooth the gnawing in my abdomen and lower back. I am about to listen to a guided meditation (per the Therapist’s advice) and try to get into a better place for the rest of the day. Because honestly, if I don’t get in a better place, everyone will take it personally even though Monica told you not to.