Tomorrow Marks Two Weeks Post Surgery

This has been an interesting recovery, different than my previous surgeries. Maybe due to the sense of finality? Maybe due to the fact my pelvic cavity is quite empty and I do not have a uterus or right ovary try to recover from all of the scraping of Endo?

There has been pain, but not the same pain as before. It is mainly on my left side in which my left ovary is try to recover and hopefully be able to heal. My doc confirmed the cyst was so big she tried her best to salvage my left ovary. Let’s hope she gets the strength to persevere! I am extremely fatigued though, not mentally as before, but physically. Which is a trying combination when you brain thinks one way and your body say- nope!

I did have terrible hot flashes, which started Monday after my surgery. Not just a few hot flashes, a wave of heat, chills, then another wave of heat, continuous and unrelenting. My doctor prescribed me the Combi-patch which I am not very excited about. Fueling my body with Estrogen, which Endo feeds on, freaks me out! As well as all of the other side effects (the list is long and scary). But early menopause leads to a much higher risk of Dementia and heart disease. A damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation.

So my biggest fear with this surgery was the emotional aspect, and so far, I have not been hit with the sense of emptiness I was worried about. I have no doubt it will come at a random time, but right now I am feeling like this has been the best decision for me and for my family. I will not have the pain of a period ever again, never again curled up in the fetal position begging for the pain to end. I will not have the sadness of every month when my period starts and I am not pregnant. I know, without 100% doubt, that I will never be pregnant or have a biological baby. And I am happy to know there is no doubt or no maybe this month? I guess that knowledge is a comfort to me, which is so strange since we tried for a baby for many years, the desire to be a mother so strong in my bones. Well this Sunday is Mother’s Day, so let’s see how that goes!

There is a definitely a soreness in my pelvic cavity, but when you live with such a high pain tolerance for so many years, soreness is an easy symptom, dealt with Advil. I was very bloated until this week, my belly super distended, much more than my previous surgeries. If I walk too much, the swelling comes back and let’s me know, take it easy!

I did do something different this surgery- I went and stayed at my parent’s house the Tuesday after my surgery. Having my mom take care of me was something I will remember forever. She forced me to stay laying down, made me healthy meals, and gave me love that has been irreplaceable. My husband and step-kids have been wonderful, but when you have a role at your home, it is hard to not try to fill that role of making lunches, doing dishes, etc. At my parent’s, my role was to heal. And I am so thankful and grateful I had the ability to do so.

I promise to write more this next week. I have been doing a ton of reading, watching of shows and movies, and working on myself. I am planning a new tattoo to ensure my uterus is celebrated, because it didn’t cause me pain, it functioned it its normal way, but the Endo made it so very painful.

After 26 years, I will no long have a period. That is unbelievable and exciting!

Sending Endolove,

Molly