Untamed, too?

Here I am… in nature, sitting by a campfire, gobbling up a memoir that is speaking directly to my inner voice. There are so many feels right now, so many “that is me!” moments, that I cannot put the book down, except to add more wood to the fire, fill up my glass of wine,Continue reading “Untamed, too?”

Normalcy… Never

I’ve lived these past few months as if I didn’t have Endo. I started drinking caffeine again and eating meat (really, to try lose some of this hysterectomy weight gain!), and was pain free for the first time in what feels like forever. I stayed up late, I started going to the gym, we wentContinue reading “Normalcy… Never”

Tomorrow Marks Two Weeks Post Surgery

This has been an interesting recovery, different than my previous surgeries. Maybe due to the sense of finality? Maybe due to the fact my pelvic cavity is quite empty and I do not have a uterus or right ovary try to recover from all of the scraping of Endo? There has been pain, but notContinue reading “Tomorrow Marks Two Weeks Post Surgery”

Surgery- Quick Update

Yesterday’s surgery was over 3 hours long. My doctor was a little delayed due to a previous surgery she had and I thought I would have a tremendous amount of anxiety while waiting. I did not. I was firm in my decision and was calmly waiting for my turn, for this new chapter. This recoveryContinue reading “Surgery- Quick Update”

Has the storm passed?

It has been months since I have written. Months of living in what feels like a fog of sadness, grief and pain and despair so thick I cannot breathe at times. I was faking it for awhile, forced smiles and laughter and pushing my body to the brink every day. I can be strong! IContinue reading “Has the storm passed?”

Bone Weary Tired

I am sorry it has been so long since I posted… If there is a realm that exists beyond being bone weary tired, that is where I currently live morning, afternoon, and night. Walking 14,000 steps on Saturday at work and being verbally assaulted by an angry person who doesn’t want to wear a mask,Continue reading “Bone Weary Tired”

First Day Back at Work

Day 1 back at work and I am exhausted… It was overwhelmingly wonderful to see my team, the love they expressed with me being back, the love I feel for all of my wonderful co-workers. It was also overwhelming being so bone weary tired and not feeling like myself. Something feels like it has shiftedContinue reading “First Day Back at Work”

Disconnected

I have been feeling… a little bit disconnected the past few days. Disconnected from my family, from my feelings, from the fact I am going back to work in a few days. I have been reading a tremendous amount and trying to spend time with my family, though I just feel like I am there,Continue reading “Disconnected”

Thanksgiving… And giving thanks

I have had a very busy two days, with acupuncture, seeing a new Doctor of Chinese Medicine, and preparing for today, a Thanksgiving unlike any other. 2020 has been a challenging, stressful, and unusual year for all of us. I live in California, so we were on full lockdown from March until May, when IContinue reading “Thanksgiving… And giving thanks”

Invisible Disease

There are so many challenges with having an invisible disease, challenges that make it harder to even believe yourself. From the outside, you look strong and healthy, besides maybe a bloated belly at times (oh Endobloat!). People cannot connect the dots that you feel like knives are being dragged along your abdomen because it isContinue reading “Invisible Disease”