Here I am… in nature, sitting by a campfire, gobbling up a memoir that is speaking directly to my inner voice. There are so many feels right now, so many “that is me!” moments, that I cannot put the book down, except to add more wood to the fire, fill up my glass of wine,Continue reading “Untamed, too?”
Tag Archives: infertility
Sterile
You would think I would have been hit with the gut wrenching reality of being sterile, at least once since my surgery. But nope, I keep living in some sort of ignorant bliss, and have not cried once about my lack of womb. I have noticed, though, my use of humor as a way toContinue reading “Sterile”
Normalcy… Never
I’ve lived these past few months as if I didn’t have Endo. I started drinking caffeine again and eating meat (really, to try lose some of this hysterectomy weight gain!), and was pain free for the first time in what feels like forever. I stayed up late, I started going to the gym, we wentContinue reading “Normalcy… Never”
Tomorrow Marks Two Weeks Post Surgery
This has been an interesting recovery, different than my previous surgeries. Maybe due to the sense of finality? Maybe due to the fact my pelvic cavity is quite empty and I do not have a uterus or right ovary try to recover from all of the scraping of Endo? There has been pain, but notContinue reading “Tomorrow Marks Two Weeks Post Surgery”
Surgery- Quick Update
Yesterday’s surgery was over 3 hours long. My doctor was a little delayed due to a previous surgery she had and I thought I would have a tremendous amount of anxiety while waiting. I did not. I was firm in my decision and was calmly waiting for my turn, for this new chapter. This recoveryContinue reading “Surgery- Quick Update”
Tomorrow is the Day
It is 11pm the night before my surgery and I am up, crying, feeling uneasy but firm in my decision for tomorrow. My fertility does not define me, I keep telling myself, though it has for a very long time. I have been infertile for 8 years now, the only hope of fertility for meContinue reading “Tomorrow is the Day”
One Week Until THE DAY
One week from today, I am having a hysterectomy and removal of my right ovary. One week from today, no more periods, no more ability to conceive, and hopefully not as much pain. Every day for the past few weeks, I have been going back and forth, like an indecisive pendulum, swinging into the “thisContinue reading “One Week Until THE DAY”
Has the storm passed?
It has been months since I have written. Months of living in what feels like a fog of sadness, grief and pain and despair so thick I cannot breathe at times. I was faking it for awhile, forced smiles and laughter and pushing my body to the brink every day. I can be strong! IContinue reading “Has the storm passed?”
Decisions, Decisions
All of my posts seem so down, so depressing, so hopeless. Anyone who meets me in real life, finds me quite the opposite. A facade of energy, happiness, ability, strength, and having it all together. Even my therapist said I am very PC, sugar coating my life and my feelings when describing things- and toContinue reading “Decisions, Decisions”
A New Year
It has been so many days since I have written. Days that I have just tried to be strong and push through. Days that have been filled with trying to bring cheer to my family and my work team which is so hard to do with the pandemic. Days where I put everyone else firstContinue reading “A New Year”
Living Life with Stage 4 Endometriosis 