Here I am… in nature, sitting by a campfire, gobbling up a memoir that is speaking directly to my inner voice. There are so many feels right now, so many “that is me!” moments, that I cannot put the book down, except to add more wood to the fire, fill up my glass of wine,Continue reading “Untamed, too?”
Tag Archives: reproductive issues
Sterile
You would think I would have been hit with the gut wrenching reality of being sterile, at least once since my surgery. But nope, I keep living in some sort of ignorant bliss, and have not cried once about my lack of womb. I have noticed, though, my use of humor as a way toContinue reading “Sterile”
Tomorrow is the Day
It is 11pm the night before my surgery and I am up, crying, feeling uneasy but firm in my decision for tomorrow. My fertility does not define me, I keep telling myself, though it has for a very long time. I have been infertile for 8 years now, the only hope of fertility for meContinue reading “Tomorrow is the Day”
One Week Until THE DAY
One week from today, I am having a hysterectomy and removal of my right ovary. One week from today, no more periods, no more ability to conceive, and hopefully not as much pain. Every day for the past few weeks, I have been going back and forth, like an indecisive pendulum, swinging into the “thisContinue reading “One Week Until THE DAY”
Has the storm passed?
It has been months since I have written. Months of living in what feels like a fog of sadness, grief and pain and despair so thick I cannot breathe at times. I was faking it for awhile, forced smiles and laughter and pushing my body to the brink every day. I can be strong! IContinue reading “Has the storm passed?”
Decisions, Decisions
All of my posts seem so down, so depressing, so hopeless. Anyone who meets me in real life, finds me quite the opposite. A facade of energy, happiness, ability, strength, and having it all together. Even my therapist said I am very PC, sugar coating my life and my feelings when describing things- and toContinue reading “Decisions, Decisions”
A New Year
It has been so many days since I have written. Days that I have just tried to be strong and push through. Days that have been filled with trying to bring cheer to my family and my work team which is so hard to do with the pandemic. Days where I put everyone else firstContinue reading “A New Year”
Hollow
Today was the appointment with the fertility specialist we have had on the books for weeks. An appointment I had booked in order to confirm my decision to not proceed with fertility treatment, to take out my uterus the next go around for surgery. And when we left, I had hot stinging tears streaming downContinue reading “Hollow”
Disconnected
I have been feeling… a little bit disconnected the past few days. Disconnected from my family, from my feelings, from the fact I am going back to work in a few days. I have been reading a tremendous amount and trying to spend time with my family, though I just feel like I am there,Continue reading “Disconnected”
Invisible Disease
There are so many challenges with having an invisible disease, challenges that make it harder to even believe yourself. From the outside, you look strong and healthy, besides maybe a bloated belly at times (oh Endobloat!). People cannot connect the dots that you feel like knives are being dragged along your abdomen because it isContinue reading “Invisible Disease”
Living Life with Stage 4 Endometriosis 